Something miraculous came to me this weekend. It came to me in the way of divine intervention sent straight from the Creator himself as my mind was magically opened to see something that has been inconspicuously floating around our planet for about 40 years. Something that is so awe inspiring that only a worthy clairvoyant hand picked by […]
Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever […]
This is probably the most painful thing I’ve ever had to write, no seriously !! The lady above, Kieu Becker, decided enough was enough with her marriage and decided to whack her husband’s pecker off and throw it in the garbage disposal. But it gets worse! She then decided to turn the garbage disposal on […]
Idiot #1: How do you like my new hair cut Moron #2? Moron #2: That is quite a finely cut set of hairs Idiot #1. I would go so far as to call that haircut “awesome”. Us: Hey idiot. Lookie here moron. You’re wrong; shut the fuck up. Has this kind of thing happened to […]
Search engines. They’re imprecise, clumsy and ultimately telling of your inner most wants and desires. Your search history is kind of weird and embarrassing, and I’ll give you the same answer that I gave that flasher who lingered a little longer than necessary: no, you can’t look at mine. When you have a website, you get […]
I’m not a religious man. I’ve been known to call God a “fucking dick“, a “thin skinned deity who throws a bitch fit every time something doesn’t go his way” and a “bearded sky douche” among many other unkind things. We don’t exchange Christmas cards, or as he insists on correcting me every fucking time, Birthday cards. […]
Pop music was first invented when a trio of our early, ape like ancestor, while trying to impress the least hideous of the tribe’s women, all simultaneously, and quite by accident, sat on their balls, produced a strangely melodic high pitched howl. In those early days the genre was very hard on it’s pioneering performers, but the reward was all […]