A Priest, A Rabbi and an iPhone 5 Walk Into a Bar …

… the bartender says, “What’ll it be fellas?”. The iPhone says, “I don’t know about these two stiffs, but I wanna tie one on and go home with a stranger.”. Ok, so WTF Apple employees? This is beginning to be some sort of alcohol induced habit. You get your prototype, you go out drinking, and […]

Cancer? Cured! Recession? Cured! Common Cold? EVERYTHING Cured!!

Something miraculous came to me this weekend. It came to me in the way of divine intervention sent straight from the Creator himself as my mind was magically opened to see something that has been inconspicuously floating around our planet for about 40 years. Something that is so awe inspiring that only a worthy clairvoyant hand picked by […]

VFoC 2011 Van Haiku Prizeocalypse!

Hey! Remember the Haiku contest? Oh, those were the days, we were all so young. Well, for those that don’t and don’t care enough to look through the archives to find it. We had a contest in which participants submitted their best Van themed Haiku. And after weeks of heated competition and literally ten of […]

Yeah! Rub Your Pie All Up In My Face, Mmmmm !!

During a session of love-seat-lounging yesterday, something dawned on me as I watched the “news” on my thin-black-box-of-tummy-plumping’ness. I realized that a good ol’ “pie in the face” has never lost its charm, AND, the most important realization, was that getting “pied” is the ultimate form of putdownery that you really can inflict on thine […]

And Ode To The Slurpee

My dearest Slurpee, you’ve been my friend for many, many years And on this day, when Slurpees are free, I am always brought to tears – I drive around to dozens of 7-11’s today all within my town Getting my fix of sugar and artificial color which makes my face look like a clown – […]

iVan Full Of Candy : The Cloud Edition

With all this fancy talk about clouds and keeping your music in a cloud and files in a cloud and pudding in a cloud, we here at Van Full of Candy have decided to officially change our name to iVan Full of Candy. Yes, you heard me correctly, we are now in the goddamn holy […]

Recipes for Life

We found an ADORABLE article today from Glamour Magazine (it’s what we wrap the racin’ forms in so the broad ain’t wise!) about a magical, legally binding chicken dish. You see, 26 years ago, the fashion editor at Glamour passed on this recipe to her assistant, which she herself was given by a whimsical tree […]