Somebody please get me off this money or at least toss me a Xanax Ahhhh yes, the $2 bill. America’s most embarrassing piece of currency, its red-headed stepchild, its third nipple, its annoying aunt who overstays her welcome, its Milli Vanilli, its … ok I think you get it. The government was so embarrassed by […]
The public school system is failing. Ask any public school kid now a days to give you the names of every US President and they’d probably have a hard time coming up with even half of the 59 men who have served in this country’s highest office. That is why we at Van Full of […]
Valentine’s Day is celebrated around the world, though with sometimes subtle differences from region to region. In Germany, lovers exchange small, red velvet boxes filled with a their own feces, in Australia couples take turns drunkenly punching each other in the throat until a perfectly heart-shaped bruise appears and in Africa, where female circumcision is […]
What ever happened to the good ol’ fashioned faint? Back in the Victorian era when women would actually faint so much, they had “fainting rooms”. A whole damn room with a luxurious couch just for slowly falling down on with the back of one’s hand on their forehead! That’s damn fancy! But the price of […]
January 17th. 1779 — Out manned, out gunned and with America on the brink of defeat in the War of 1812, Admiral George Washington Carver, under pressure from delegates of the United Federation of Planets, reached a tenative alliace with the cavemen ghosts to launch a last ditch, sneak attack on Napoleon’s Royal Mounted Unicorn […]