We love My[ _____ ] now, Justin! Love us!

OMG Ya’ll! O to the MUTHA FUCKIN’ G!!! Did you hear? Did you hear the news!? Justin Timberlake owns My[_____]! I know! Well when I heard the news, I leapt out of my chair and kissed the nearest homeless person. Then I gave them a dollar to stop screaming at me. When we at Van Full of Candy […]

VFoC Video — “Introducing … The Audition Guy!!”

When you work hard and put in your time, good things usually happen to you. Here at Van Full of Candy we have a really dedicated young man who really, really wants to make it big time in the entertaiment world in any way shape or form that they’ll take him. You may remember him […]

The "Justify Your Existence" Tours – Britney and Charlie, on the Road.

The live concert. It’s where you make your connection with the artist, where you, for one brief shining moment, share the same space with your heroes and become a part of one another’s world. Then, afterwards, you drunkenly limp around Lot F all night looking for your car which six hours and nine, $15 beers ago you parked in Lot B, while Ricky […]

Happy Birthday Twitter, You Bedwetter

  We didn’t get you a present Hey everyone, want to hear something that nobody cares about? Twitter just turned 5 years old. Big F’ing deal, so did my dog and he still scrapes his ass on the floor. Five! You can’t even really color within the lines yet Twitter, or eat without spillin’ shit […]

Charlie Sheen – No Longer #Winning

Well, today will be a very sad day for the Charlie Sheen TigerBlood compound. What they didn’t realize is that they have just lost the best candidate for their internship. Didn’t you read our post from a while back? Do you not understand that our partnership would have propelled us to unheard of heights of social […]

Who’s Ready For Another Trial of the Centurillenium!?

Did you hear that? That was the sound of the 24 hour news machine’s erection slamming into the under side of their anchor desk. You know, say what you will about the man, but Michael Jackson was a consummate performer, right up to the end and beyond. The man never stopped giving and now he has given us one […]

Van Full of Candy’s 2011 Predictions

With the new year, a lot of people like to make predictions about the upcoming hellscape that will be the coming trip around the sun. Impotently grasping for meaning and some illusion of control or understanding in a world where absolutely nothing makes sense. And we’re no different, except for how we’re exactly nothing at […]