Taco Bell Mistakenly Doesn’t Send Me Breakfast-Promo-Phone, I Cry

I think if I’ve made one thing clear over the sporadic years of screaming things over the internet eye waves, it’s that I want to be sent things by companies so that I can feel pretty! But it seems for all of my well worded pleadery, I’m still not worthy of being allowed to tell […]

Burn Baby, Burn! (Hitler Inferno)

Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever […]