Hey, have you ever wanted to have a tooth in somewhere in you that wasn’t your mouth? Of COURSE you haven’t! Because you know that would make absolutely no sense! But sometimes the human body likes to play disgusting tricks and put chompers where chompers don’t go and we all have to hold tight our lunches. This is one of those times.
Ghosts are trying to eat our children’s brains! Wait a… Let me back up just a second.
That is gross, yes. But not for the reason you think! Sure, it’s nasty and fleshy and bloody. But that’s all natural. That’s all fine and well and good and fine! What’s NOT fine is the TEETH in the center there! Look at it… I said, LOOK AT IT! Does that look like a mouth to you?! It doesn’t look like a mouth to ME! What it looks like to me is the inside of a 4-month-old’s skull (and not the mouth portion of the skull, as was already established)! Also, I’m sorry, I hope you hadn’t just eaten, Sure, even the inside of a HEALTHY 4-month-old’s skull isn’t nice to look at. I mean, in ideal circumstances, you likely wouldn’t want to look inside the skull of a 4-month-old. That would be weird. But TEETH.
But obviously, the mere fact that we’re looking inside the skull of a 4-month-old child probably points to the fact that these AREN’T normal circumstances! They’re “tumor-filled-with-teeth” circumstances!
A recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine has detailed how, two years ago, doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital removed a tumor from a 4-month-old West Virginia boy’s skull (where, by all rights, there should not be one of those), which, as it turned out “contained several fully grown teeth” (where, by which ever God will listen, there sure as hell should not be SEVERAL of THOSE!).
The human body is gross. It does things that we don’t understand, and most of the time, it does it without us even asking it to! Given a vote, I would be against back hair, but apparently I DON’T GET A VOTE IN THE BACK HAIR ELECTION! And then there are things like this. Sure, it’s rare, as pediatric neurosurgeon (which seems like a VERY specific field choice) Dr. Edward Ahn said that “Only five other cases in medical literature found teeth in these types of tumors.” So it’s not like there’s chompers growing willy-nilly inside all of us in places where we don’t chew. As far as WE know!
So how does something like this happen?!
“No one knows,” the highly specialized baby brain doctor, unreassuringly added. “It must be the origin of the tumor. … They might have had some common lineage with the cells that produce teeth.”
So teeth, almost universally found in one very specific mouth place, can just show up anywhere and we have to just accept that? Well if that’s the case, then why can’t my earlier nonsensical, frightened outburst that started this whole scream-fest be just as likely as any other answer? Science? Logic? Common sense? Don’t you come at me with those throw-away terms that no longer mean anything in a world of baby tumors chock full o’ nibble nubs! My answer is that ghosts are trying to eat the brains of our world’s babies, and sometimes, given that they’re dead, they loose one or two in the soft, new noggin meat.
And so, until science can give me a better explanation otherwise, I’m going to continue screaming that at the top of my lungs as I run up and down the street losing what was left of my non-specter-gnawed mind!
via: Your Daily Media