There’s no form of technology that we can’t put our genitals on. As a human species, we really only make any sort of technological advancement just so we have something new and exciting to do with our pleasure parts. If you don’t have a picture of someone’s bathing suit area on your phone right this second, odds are you just deleted it knowing I’d ask…
“Hey baby, I miss you, I’m thinkin’ about you. Know who else is thinkin’ about you? [insert dirty text or image here.]” clicky-click, Send.
Does this 21st century telephonic interaction sound familiar? Well, if you’re like half of the smartphone-using public, it should, because you’ve used space age super computing technology to nearly instantaneously beam an image of your unmentionables to another someone’s magic pocket rectangle. I realized as I finished typing the previous sentence that, given the heavy load of potentially suggestive material within this article, the term “magic pocket rectangle” could be taken differently than specifically intended. I meant “smartphone”. You’re welcome, however, to store “magic pocket rectangle” in your giant file of entendre for possible later use in the other context.
According to a recent McAfee study, 49% of American smartphone users have engaged in the amateur pornographic texting act of “Sexting”. If you haven’t done so, then I guess you’ve never known the joy of having to delete two dozen shots that just “weren’t quite right” before deciding on the “Goldilocks” snap that catches the perfect angle, and lighting that screams to the screen of your recipient, “This is what I have to offer! Glamour shots-style with pouty good looks. It’s my crotch; get to know it.”.
The McAfee study, titled “Love, Relationships, and Technology” went on to say that “96 percent of people use their phones to take pictures, and 49 percent send or receive sexual content via video, photo, e-mail, or messaging.” The (relatively) good news is that “77 percent send this racy content to their significant others” while “16 percent send it to complete strangers” through what I can only guess is either 1) the accidental butt dials of butt shots to a wrong numbers or 2) the intentional transmission of this content to random phone numbers.
Other pertinent numbers included 18 to 24-year-olds being the most avid sexters at a not-unsurprising 70% saying they’d engaged in a lurid photography. And while it wasn’t surprising to find that 61% of men engaged in the act, I was more than a little surprised that the study said that 48% of women partake. I apparently just haven’t met my little shutterbug yet. Someday… someday I’ll find that special someone with the proudly photogenic nether region who’ll just flood my inbox with–wait, you know what? That’s just not going to sound good how ever I decide to continue. Let’s just say our wedding album’s gonna be something to behold.