If you grew up in the nineteen hundred and eighties, you know that it was an odd time when everyone who was anyone thought they had to awkwardly rap their every thought and feeling. We did survive this difficult era of ill conceived communication decisions, but every now and then it rears its ugly head, mostly involving people who should know better trying to teach things that we don’t need to hear.
The 80s were a strange and wonderful time. The President of the United States was an ex-cowboy actor, cable television and MTV were creeping into American homes, helping “the rapping” to gain a foothold in our nation’s suburbs, and we were all prepared to die at precisely any moment. This probably explains why we did everything so enthusiastically and equally in disproportion to our abilities or all common sense. And nothing really epitomizes that mindset more than the spate of mid 80s rapping football team videos. To attempt to put one bad NFL team’s rap performance above any others is like attempting to rank genocides based on the effects it had on the local community: no one who lived through one will ever be convinced that theirs was not the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind.
This brings us to the 1986 Los Angeles Rams. For those of you who might have forgotten or were never even aware of it in the first place, yes, the Rams called Los Angeles home for a good long while, but much like the other teams who did so, they eventually thought better of it and have tried to make everyone forget it ever happened. But here is videotaped evidence of the Rams LA existence, and their contribution to the budding rap music landscape.
With so much talk of ramming, seemingly completely oblivious to the connotations (all tight panted and awkwardly gyrating), I’m not sure the kind of fear the Rams were trying to instill in the hearts of their opponents. I honestly don’t think “Ramming it” had a that much altogether different colloquial meaning in 1986, so with each successive player who boasts about ramming it all day and night, I assume someone had to look around and ask anyone who would listen if at some point this video wasn’t entrapment. And while “Ramming it” proved to be successful enough to get Los Angeles into the playoffs that year, it seems they just couldn’t maintain that rigorous pelvic dominance long enough to not be eliminated by the Washington Redskins in the NFC Wildcard Game. An ‘86 Redskins team that was powered by their own embarrassing season theme song: “The Wailing of The Souls of Wronged Indigenous People”… That one’s hard to shuffle to.