Go Ahead, Touch My Snake

iPhone Neck Holder

Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there. I was just enjoying the latest episode of Survivor, hands-free. Wait, I can’t hear you, let me take these ‘Beats’ by Dr. Dre headphones off. Hi. Oh this? Yeah, isn’t it great? It’s called a Vyne, but I like to call it Python.  No don’t be afraid of it, it’s not real. Haha yeah I know … it IS scary. So, you like snakes? Nevermind.

The thing I like best about this cool little jimmy-thang, besides the obvious conversation-starting-lady-magnetism, is that when I’m sporting it, I have an actual “personal-space-creator”, yeah I know right? And it’s a great back-scratcher. Oh wait, check this trick out … when I gyrate my neck, whoa yeah, oh look out, it’s like a reptilian hula-hoop. And if I ever drop my keys down a storm drain, I’m totally set.  Hmm, maybe I’ll try that today just to make sure.

So, you want a ride?  You can straddle it right here, facing me is best, and I’ll just carry you wherever you … No?  Ok, no problem.  Where you going?  Hey wait, look, my download of The Bachelor just completed.  You could come stand next to me and watch it … I’ll share my headphones.


Well hello, I … didn’t see you standing there.

4 comments on “Go Ahead, Touch My Snake

    1. We here at Van Full of Candy strive to give our readers and megafans the highest level of customer service possible. So you know what I did for you Greatest Valet Alive? You know what I did? I sent a letter directly to the good people of Vyne in search of an answer to your question. Once I receive word, I will definitely get that answer not only to you, but to the WORLD … I will exploit the living crud out of it because I am so desperate for interaction with people. So thank you, thank you for your question. I love you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *