Much of the state of California lays in ruins at this hour after Jason Whitesel and Jesse Jones, Van Full of Candy co-founders escaped police custody in Sacramento and Los Angeles respectively.
In what was thought to be an impossibly short span of time for such a feat, Jason managed to dig a hole through his cell wall with a rock hammer before crawling 500 yards to freedom through the prison’s sewage line. Unfortunately only moments after emerging from the outlet and celebrating with a triumphant arm raised howl of freedom in the metaphorical sin cleansing downpour Jason was brutally mauled to death by a pack of day werewolves in a clear case of mistaken identity.
Meanwhile Jesse was sprung from his cell in spectacular fashion when he summoned his Green Mastodon Megazord with his communicator watch that officials mistakenly failed to confiscate. Armed with his three story tall “Emerald Tusk” Zord, Jesse laid waste to the downtown Los Angeles area before trampling the world famous Hollywood sign and Griffith Observatory. Ultimately members of the Justice Avengers had to be called in to stop him before more innocent landmarks were lost. After the climactic battle on the Santa Monica Pier Jesse’s Zord was fished out of the Pacific Ocean but no body has been recovered as of this report.
… So… April Fools…
Thanks for hanging in there. Hope it was worth it.
Now tell your friends about it and hey, how about watching our video one more time, in memory of those brave souls who were fictionally lost this day?