With all this fancy talk about clouds and keeping your music in a cloud and files in a cloud and pudding in a cloud, we here at Van Full of Candy have decided to officially change our name to iVan Full of Candy. Yes, you heard me correctly, we are now in the goddamn holy freakin’ cloud and we love it up here. You can totally see everything from our new heavenly seat, and when we spit, it takes FOREVER to hit the ground.
So here’s what iVan Full of Candy is introducing to our dearest van riders, and then to the world … we call it … iCandy. Instead of carrying your bag fulls of candy around with you everywhere, for $10.99/year you can keep all of your candy in our van-cloud. That’s right, no more worrying about losing candy, or transferring candy from bag to a larger bag, or even the worry of keeping your candy updated and fresh. Your candy at home will be the same as your candy at work which will be the same as your candy in the car, all done wirelessly. With our very affordable yearly subscription to iCandy, all you do is upload all you candy to our cloud, and if it’s stolen candy or not, we will give you totally awesome, fresh, candy no questions asked! How awesome is that? Even if your candy is melted or even half eaten, once it’s in our cloud, it’s like brand new for your enjoyment as long as you continue to pay the subscription. iCandy does it all for you and … it just works!! We’re also giving you 2LB of storage for free. However, once you decide to end your subscription, all the awesome candy goes away, and your stuck with your dirty ass candy from Mexico.
So get your asses on the cloud with us, and let’s get this vancandypartycloudravediscothing going!! We accept PayPal.
I want some candy…yummmmmmmy!! lol