All Hail, King Van Full of Candy!

April 8, 2011 Van Full of Candy Budget Crisis, Government 50%, america, anthem, government, huge truck, jungle cats, kink, laser, lion, lunar eclipse, mad max, puma, sale, shut down, Three's Company, tiger, United States, vanday Leave a comment

Good news everybody! Tonight the United States Government shuts down! Hooray! Happy Days! Rock ‘n Roll! Someone get me a chung so I can wang the hell out of it! Why good news you may be asking? Well you see, yesterday on Twitter in addressing the imminent shuttering of this grand old nation, I called King. I called […]

California Budget Deficit: Solved

March 9, 2011January 9, 2012 Jesse Jones Budget Crisis action plus, basic service, broke, budget, california, coked up toddlers, cupcake, deficit, fiscal responsibility, yum 2 Comments

We live in a society that refuses to take responsibility for its ridiculous, nonsensical actions and is unwilling to sacrifice anything in order to simply live within’ its means. We’re like a country of coked up toddlers, too busy snapping all of our toys in half and screaming at the top of our lungs to understand why all […]