No Self Control? No Problem! iBag Will Protect Your Wallet From You

When I have money (which is almost never) I know the constant urge to throw it away at the first shiny or delicious thing that crosses my field of vision. So I get needing something to protect me from myself. I also get needing to develop some sort of god damned self control too since you’re not always going to have accessories at the ready to govern your every action. My chastity pants can attest to that.

Originally posted on Your Daily Media

Have you done something self destructive at any point during your life? You do know that It’s not your fault, right? I mean, nothing is anymore. Personal responsibility isn’t really a pre-requisite for adult human beings now-a-days. You can’t and shouldn’t be held accountable for your personal actions, nor should you be expected to be able to control your animalistic impulses. In a world that is increasingly forced to cater to those who are utterly unwilling to consciously take any measure whatsoever to curb their self-harming impulses, there’s a mint to be made by the enterprising individual who can reassign personal responsibility to something other than the person. So hush now, shop-a-holic, it’s not your fault, and we’ve got just the solution–

Credit Card Finder’s iBag

The iBag (the Australian makers of which will, I’m sure, be hearing from Apple’s iLegal Team) is a mechanical purse (because only the ladies spend haphazardly you know [sarcasm]) that can “track every time you take out your wallet.” Equipped with LED warning lights, the iBag is triggered by a built in GPS chip whenever you enter a shopping “danger zone” and can even be programmed to lock its owner out during specific “vulnerable spending times of the day”. Because, you know, upper middle class problems.

There is even a less drastic, more shame based option for your iBag, where if your purse’s flashing a “Gluttony Alarm” at you as you walk past places to purchase goods or services isn’t enough to make you think twice about buying that extra unnecessary something, then your own personal property will “track your wallet being taken out and send an SMS to your nominated ‘responsible other’ to let them know you’ve had a spending relapse.” Your accessories will tattle on you. Oh, it truly is a wondrous time we live in.

Oh Jen, you know the rules, that’s gonna cost you a toe.

But really, it’s honestly come to this. People are going to purchase something that will physically prevent them from getting to their wallet at the mall because they simply can’t control themselves. Rather than just taking personal stock of one’s current financial situation and saying, “No, me. We can’t have this frivolous thing. Eat your feelings, again,” we have to have our own possessions lock themselves away because we turn into a Wereshopper whenever we enter climate controlled shop-a-toriums. Great. Fantastic. How about instead, every time someone buys something they don’t need, the purchase price is matched and put toward buying medicine or mosquito nets for people who can’t afford food, let alone hand bags that judge someone for their impulse buys.

Nah, you’re right, that would be wasteful spending. And that’s a perfectly okay and fine thing to do and is entirely not your fault, Jen.

via: Your Daily Media

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