Show Your Support For Reproductive Rights With This Coat Hanger Pendant Conversation Starter

There’s not a lot of things more polarizing in today’s society than what a lady woman should and shouldn’t be allowed to do with her own biological by-product. So what better way to gently facilitate rational conversation than a coat hanger hanging around your neck as thank you for your donation to the cause? Oh, […]

Ivido’s Push-Up Jeans: Solving The Problem They Just Invented

People, mostly men, make billions of dollars a year pushing products that they have convinced women are absolutely necessary because if they don’t own then they are hideous beasts unworthy of love. This one is being pushed by a woman, so that’s progress right? Originally posted on Your Daily Media ​Hey ladies, unhappy with something about […]

No Self Control? No Problem! iBag Will Protect Your Wallet From You

When I have money (which is almost never) I know the constant urge to throw it away at the first shiny or delicious thing that crosses my field of vision. So I get needing something to protect me from myself. I also get needing to develop some sort of god damned self control too since […]

Weight Loss Pills And Skinny Big Girl Jeans — You’re Not Good Enough: Parte the Second

Fat, it’s unattractive on woman ladies. On men folk of course it’s distinguished and rugged, esteemed and electable. Lady people are not allowed to have any of it. Not if I had my way at least! Women are supposed to be sleek, lithe and petite, like tiny baby jungle cats that you want to penetrate […]

GQ Men Of The Year My Ass !!

Apparently we here at Van Full of Candy were somehow overlooked for this years “GQ Man of the Year” awards. I’m not sure if it’s because we missed the phone call or if our nomination into several of the categories got lost in the mail …  strange … we’ll get it all straightened out. I’ll […]

Your Fake Boobs Are Two Incredibly Beautiful Terrorists

What the hell is going on with TSA these days? A couple of months ago they were searching for bombs in baby’s diapers, then they moved on recently to searching for bombs in a 90 year old’s Depends Undergarment. But now … NOW … they’re going to need to start fondling all the ladies with implants. […]

Justin Bieber Cuts His Hair

Scientists at the Clones ‘R’ Us Laboratories in Santa Monica, California have been on high alert for a new endeavor that is about to come down their cell replicating pipeline. The infamous hairdo of Justin Bieber has been shorn like a little sheep, the exact species that Clones ‘R’ Us have perfected in their duplication […]