Idaho Arena’s Little Beer Cup Size Illusion Could/Should Cost Them Big

As lovers, defenders and friends of alcohol, we at Van Full of Candy take crimes against booze very seriously. And when a people prey upon another hop loving people’s inability to easily calculate sport enhancing receptacle volume and can’t take a vendor’s word as his bond, well, that’s when shit gets real. Originally posted on […]

For The Athlete Who Doesn’t Want To Do Anything Athletic, Introducing: FootGolf

Like drying paint watching grass grow, the “excitement” of “FootGolf” is coming to a “town” near “you”. Hey! You got your boring in my monotonous! No, you got your monotonous in my boring! Two lame tastes that taste lame together. Too old for soccer? Too young for golf? We’ve got the solution that no one […]

Van Full of Candy traded to Jacksonville

With the NFL lockout finally coming to an end this week, teams have been frantically signing and trading players in a feeding frenzy unseen in the history of the league as they get ready for the start of the 2011 NFL season, just six weeks away. Among all of the confusion of blockbuster trades and free agent signings we have learned just this afternoon […]

VFoC's Thursday Post Delayed Due to Sweaty, Sexy Celebration

Your regularly scheduled Van Full of Candy Thursday post has been temporarily delayed due to a sudden, raging Soccer on…    We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, we just love Soccer so very, very much. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the Soccer room to Soccer one out… USA! USA! USA!

It’s Raining Baseball Fans

Soon helmet giveaways at the ballpark won’t just be novelty promotions, but mandatory equipment given out before every game to protect lunatics from accidentally murdering themselves diving from rafters for collectible garbage. I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but there’s a hot new trend at the nation’s basedballing sport complexes: face diving onto cement from heights […]

Drunk, Homeless, German Man Wins NBA Championship

Move over LeBron James, there’s a new King in town, and he goes by the name “Dirk”. This seven foot homeless man from Germany reeks of malt liquor, sleeps in alleys, but by dumb luck has now found a new home in the NBA with the Dallas Mavericks. Dirk, otherwise known on the streets as “Giant Adolf”, […]

We Will KICK You In The Facebook!!

I just read some bullshit about a soccer player who created a Facebook page and got 7 Million likes in 7 hours. Holy goddamn Pelé that’s a crock of shit. A soccer player? It’s taken us 3 months to get 80 likes on Facebook. EIGHT … ZERO!!! THREE … MONTHS!!! So apparently pouring your heart […]

TV Review: "Taking on Tyson"

You know that mustard and salami sandwich you enjoyed so much for lunch? How about high speed internet? Trail Mix? The carpool lane? Cupcake shops? Digital billboards? Cup o’ Chili? The soft cast? You like all those things? Well, you probably don’t know that you have “Iron” Mike Tyson to thank for all of it. “Taking on […]

Be at Peace, Sweet Cocks

During my customary afternoon search for all cock related news stories, I came upon a rather ridiculous article. The basics of the story all fit together like well worn pieces of your classic, run of the mill stupid criminal news Madlib: Two guys pulled over for a routine traffic stop, cops see something suspicious in […]

Super Bowl Halftime Show : The Gipper

The 45th Super Bowl airing this Sunday between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers will be one of the most historic of all time. This Super Bowl will have the 40th President of the United States for their halftime show. What’s this, you ask? How can Ronald Reagan be the entertainment for the […]