As lovers, defenders and friends of alcohol, we at Van Full of Candy take crimes against booze very seriously. And when a people prey upon another hop loving people’s inability to easily calculate sport enhancing receptacle volume and can’t take a vendor’s word as his bond, well, that’s when shit gets real. Originally posted on […]
Like drying paint watching grass grow, the “excitement” of “FootGolf” is coming to a “town” near “you”. Hey! You got your boring in my monotonous! No, you got your monotonous in my boring! Two lame tastes that taste lame together. Too old for soccer? Too young for golf? We’ve got the solution that no one […]
With the NFL lockout finally coming to an end this week, teams have been frantically signing and trading players in a feeding frenzy unseen in the history of the league as they get ready for the start of the 2011 NFL season, just six weeks away. Among all of the confusion of blockbuster trades and free agent signings we have learned just this afternoon […]
Your regularly scheduled Van Full of Candy Thursday post has been temporarily delayed due to a sudden, raging Soccer on… We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, we just love Soccer so very, very much. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the Soccer room to Soccer one out… USA! USA! USA!
Soon helmet giveaways at the ballpark won’t just be novelty promotions, but mandatory equipment given out before every game to protect lunatics from accidentally murdering themselves diving from rafters for collectible garbage. I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but there’s a hot new trend at the nation’s basedballing sport complexes: face diving onto cement from heights […]
Move over LeBron James, there’s a new King in town, and he goes by the name “Dirk”. This seven foot homeless man from Germany reeks of malt liquor, sleeps in alleys, but by dumb luck has now found a new home in the NBA with the Dallas Mavericks. Dirk, otherwise known on the streets as “Giant Adolf”, […]
I just read some bullshit about a soccer player who created a Facebook page and got 7 Million likes in 7 hours. Holy goddamn Pelé that’s a crock of shit. A soccer player? It’s taken us 3 months to get 80 likes on Facebook. EIGHT … ZERO!!! THREE … MONTHS!!! So apparently pouring your heart […]