September 2, 1962 — In a noble attempt to become the first man to run the mile in under two minutes, Polish born Nikifor Smolnik, whose name coincidentally means “bearer of victory”, decided to imitate Mercury’s winged shoes by strapping a pigeon to each of his own shoes. Unfortunately for him and more unfortunate for […]
… the bartender says, “What’ll it be fellas?”. The iPhone says, “I don’t know about these two stiffs, but I wanna tie one on and go home with a stranger.”. Ok, so WTF Apple employees? This is beginning to be some sort of alcohol induced habit. You get your prototype, you go out drinking, and […]
Alright you stars of porn, lets go ahead and take 5 and gather around. Stop your threesums, put your cable repairman outfit back on Ron, and for god’s sake you people over there leave that horse alone and get over here, this is serious business. Now listen! It has come to our attention that one […]
The title of this blog comes from a very popular “Tweet” and mixes it with us, Van Full of Candy, and a cheeseburger slinging clown. It’s sort of a creepy-trifecta right off the bat. The “Tweetsy” I’m referring to is one that starts off … #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen … and people put all kinds of awkward moments […]
Today was an historic day as the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial was unveiled to the public today at the National Mall in Washington D.C. . It is an awesome 30 foot granite statue of MLK Jr. showing his strength, and it’s based upon the “I have a dream” speech. Perhaps the way I view […]
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They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But the right picture is worth about 5 mins alone in the bathroom without saying ANY comprehensible words. If you don’t know what I mean by this, then before you continue you will need to read yesterday’s article first. If you DO know what I mean, […]
I know that we have an affinity for our technical devices these days. Not just an affinity, but for most of us, they are an attachment of our arms just past our hands and sometimes to our ears. And for those of us who need this certain device within at least 10 feet of our […]
Doing some serious research about where to get a hold of some really yummy meth, FOR A FRIEND, I stumbled upon a beautiful anti-drug campaign that speaks for itself. These are before and after pictures of the natural beautification that meth can do for you without even putting any effort into it. There were over […]
In an epic “Fight Club” style of badass-anarchy-not-gonna-take-it-anymore blatant threat kind of a way, a kickass movement called Anomymous has publicly pretty much said “We’re gonna murder Facebook in the face and there’s nothing anybody can do about it!” That’s a pretty ballsy claim which made us here at Van Full of Candy stand at […]