We live in a society where we are being constantly bombarded with sights and sounds, information, flashy lights and bright colors all fighting for our precious attentions. Until very recently Van Full of Candy has only existed in a very small sliver of the noisescape’s peripherie. For the last year you’ve read our words usually on a daily basis […]
While browsing the e-www’s this afternoon in search of the ridiculous and wrong to scream at, I stopped, as I often do by FOXnews.com. I stumbled upon an article written by a “Dr.” Keith Ablow with the headline “Dr. Keith: Is Vogue Magazine Creating Pedophiles?” I could do a thousand words on the headline alone; the sensationalizing of […]
For no other reason than to have a gratuitous boob picture in our post today, here’s Nicki Minaj doing what I’d like to coin right here and now “Pullin’ a Janet Jackson”. And if somebody else has coined it then show me the damned proof, otherwise consider it coined right here and now on this […]
During a session of love-seat-lounging yesterday, something dawned on me as I watched the “news” on my thin-black-box-of-tummy-plumping’ness. I realized that a good ol’ “pie in the face” has never lost its charm, AND, the most important realization, was that getting “pied” is the ultimate form of putdownery that you really can inflict on thine […]
Osama bin Laden was just like you and me. Wait. No. What I meant to say is that, you’re no different than Osama bin Laden. NO! No, that’s not it. Okay, let me start over. Osama bin Laden’s penis. It existed. So does yours. If you were born with one. Or if yours wasn’t lost […]
FIRST I turn on the TV. I didn’t have to. That damn thing is always on, and I’m sure it’s the same for the rest of America as well, right? You don’t have to lie, we’re all friends here. It’s on and it’s telling us what we need to know, what we’re supposed to know, […]