This Sunday is our bi-annual celebration of humanity’s unquestioned mastery over time and space. Daylight Savings Time begins at 2am Sunday morning, so when you’re late for something important, know that it’s not my fault. But when you think about it, the fact that you make it anywhere on “time” is really an every day modern fucking […]
Scientists at the Clones ‘R’ Us Laboratories in Santa Monica, California have been on high alert for a new endeavor that is about to come down their cell replicating pipeline. The infamous hairdo of Justin Bieber has been shorn like a little sheep, the exact species that Clones ‘R’ Us have perfected in their duplication […]
We are all going to be murdered by a giant green blob, the size of our entire galaxy, THAT SHITS STARS! Why am I the only one screaming!? So what if it’s 650 million light years away? How do you know that some living space cloud, the size of what we can’t even begin to […]
You haven’t died from Polio, and through the miracle of modern technology, that bowling trophy’s broken arm was safely rescued from deep within my “fun house”. But aside from that, what has science done for any of us? For every life saving vaccine or highly specialized rectal jaws of life that science accidentally discovers, there are […]