They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But the right picture is worth about 5 mins alone in the bathroom without saying ANY comprehensible words. If you don’t know what I mean by this, then before you continue you will need to read yesterday’s article first. If you DO know what I mean, […]
Hey you, shut up, I have a penis and it demands to be heard! I am a man, and as such, it is my god given duty to not care about a woman’s pleasure! My divinely given external genitalia are my genetic signal to all of the animal kingdom that I am strong and make fire […]
I know that we have an affinity for our technical devices these days. Not just an affinity, but for most of us, they are an attachment of our arms just past our hands and sometimes to our ears. And for those of us who need this certain device within at least 10 feet of our […]
Doing some serious research about where to get a hold of some really yummy meth, FOR A FRIEND, I stumbled upon a beautiful anti-drug campaign that speaks for itself. These are before and after pictures of the natural beautification that meth can do for you without even putting any effort into it. There were over […]
Seriously… Knock it off. We get that everyone’s created equal and that it’s a beautiful thing and that we should all celebrate each other’s differences even though we’re equal and beautiful just the way we differently are. And that’s beautiful. In an equal kind of way. A way that doesn’t discriminate against any other beautiful […]
In an epic “Fight Club” style of badass-anarchy-not-gonna-take-it-anymore blatant threat kind of a way, a kickass movement called Anomymous has publicly pretty much said “We’re gonna murder Facebook in the face and there’s nothing anybody can do about it!” That’s a pretty ballsy claim which made us here at Van Full of Candy stand at […]
Only 5 short days ago I wrote about how Nicki Minaj’s left boob wanted to see the live audience on Good Morning America and decided to leave the confines of its snug little bra-home and smile for the cameras. “Pulling a Janet Jackson” was then coined by yours truly which I have just recently shortened […]
People, this has simply got to stop. It seems a week doesn’t go by that I don’t have to step up and say the unpopular, but almost impossibly obvious to one and all: Kanye West is not Hitler. I thought we went over this. I thought we had all come to an understanding, that while Kanye […]
While browsing the e-www’s this afternoon in search of the ridiculous and wrong to scream at, I stopped, as I often do by FOXnews.com. I stumbled upon an article written by a “Dr.” Keith Ablow with the headline “Dr. Keith: Is Vogue Magazine Creating Pedophiles?” I could do a thousand words on the headline alone; the sensationalizing of […]
For no other reason than to have a gratuitous boob picture in our post today, here’s Nicki Minaj doing what I’d like to coin right here and now “Pullin’ a Janet Jackson”. And if somebody else has coined it then show me the damned proof, otherwise consider it coined right here and now on this […]