So the new fad of “planking” has become the one fun thing in this world that is out to kill you!! We’ve written about many many things that want to kill you, murder you and make you very very dead, but this one is just the dumbest. What you do is lie on your stomach […]
Osama bin Laden was just like you and me. Wait. No. What I meant to say is that, you’re no different than Osama bin Laden. NO! No, that’s not it. Okay, let me start over. Osama bin Laden’s penis. It existed. So does yours. If you were born with one. Or if yours wasn’t lost […]
H.J. Heinz, the makers of America’s most beloved ketchup, Heinz Tomato Ketchup (not Catsup), has officially announced that they will be selling the “glass bottle” ketchup in select stores this summer. They said that they “want to bring some nostalgia to the summer barbecue season.” I know personally that I cannot wait to get ahold […]
I don’t do a lot of flying, I have my reasons. One of them, certainly, is the fact that I don’t do a lot of traveling. I don’t think they have a lot of destinationless flights, and if they did, why would they? But when I do go somewhere, which as I’ve stated, I don’t, I […]
“Thank you for calling ACME typewriter company, this is Betty, how can I direct your call?” … How about you be a good girl and fetch me a nice hot cup of jo sweetie, and this time do it the way I like it … two sugars!! Thanks doll. Oh, and if Mr. Smith calls tell him […]
It’s been almost exactly four months since this Candy filled Van of hilarity and yuks hit the road. We like to think in that time we have firmly established ourselves as one of the class acts of internet humor sites. It is with that standard of excellence in mind that we come to you today […]
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Hey everybody! Looking forward to celebrating the proud Mexican people’s day of Independence!? Well that shit ain’t ’till the middle of September so you’re gonna be dry a long time if that’s what you’re REALLY looking to celebrate. But let’s be honest, that’s not why you’re excited about Cinco de Mayo. We know it’s not […]
If we are to believe everything we see on our Le Tube d’Boob these days, then we are supposed to now be scared shitless that the beds we sleep in are slowly trying to kill us and/or end your marraige, not particularly in that order, and not that either is a bad thing for most people, but let’s […]
Ya know, that CNN seems like a nice kid. They try to play it down the middle as much as they can, which unfortunately makes them less popular than their more opinionated, shouty news brothers. You don’t want to hang out with the guy who can listen, hear and understand both sides of the argument […]