Technology advances at a break neck speed, military technology usually leading the way. We’ve gone from rocks and sticks to lasers and nuclear fire in the cosmic blink of an eye. But obviously along the way there have been intermediate steps. Like, you know, strapping 16th century rockets to 16th century cats to unleash on […]
Like sex but hate enjoying it? Like pot but can’t stand getting high? Well have we got just the thing for you! All of the great taste of marijuana with NONE of the intoxicating effects, slathered on the outside of a prophylactic! Or you could just punch yourself in the taint with a “water pipe”… Originally […]
Like drying paint watching grass grow, the “excitement” of “FootGolf” is coming to a “town” near “you”. Hey! You got your boring in my monotonous! No, you got your monotonous in my boring! Two lame tastes that taste lame together. Too old for soccer? Too young for golf? We’ve got the solution that no one […]
Taco Bell has long been at the forefront of nonsensical food technology. It is for this that we thank them. Do you have any idea how many food-like and Mexi-esque words have been introduced to the digestive distress catalog by these lunatics? Well, strap your stomach in, ’cause you’re about to meet a whole menu […]
Art is generally considered to be in the eye of the beholder. This exhibit though, you generally want to point away from your eyes. So, get comfy and settle in for a hot, sticky face full of art created by one man with a white board and a dream. A dream of many, many penises. […]
“Classy Rock”. It’s a new genre that I just made up right this second. It involves people with training, more in the classical realm, classing the shit out of classic rock. There’s a lot of classic going on. And when you add a shiny coat of sophistication to the workin’ man’s rock and or roll, […]
Not too long ago, there was a time when everyone wasn’t racing gay marriage and pot legalization like they were dogs around a track. Now a days there’s fewer and fewer places that you can’t either as a dude, marry another dude, or purchase the Mary Tobacco Cronic like it’s a pack of healthful honest […]
As we all know, space wants nothing more than to kill us, leaving us gasping in the vacuum of space, laughing at our simple frozen flesh, with its gas giants and dark… dwarf… holes. Space is kind of a dick. But now, after this new discovery of Mercury’s rocky, bored face, we know space probably […]
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that we at Van Full of Candy are doing the internet wrong. More and more I see cat videos (usually much less produced than even the following), with MILLIONS of views. Meanwhile out finely crafted humor comedy jokes wallow in obscurity. Oh Internets, you cruel mistress, we’ll have your fickle love […]
It’s difficult to prove the death of something that may or may not have actually existed in the first place. Is the fact that you don’t see it proof that it’s still alive, or that it is now, finally dead, even though you never really saw it alive to know for sure the difference? Either […]