St. Patrick’s Day Butt Dial [AUDIO]
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Month: March 2011
Incoming message: 3/17/2011 – 10:43 pm
March 17, 2011 Jesse – (10:43 pm) hey Jesse – (10:48 pm) hey Jesse – (11:09 pm) hey Allison – (11:14 pm) What? Jesse – (11:14 pm) hey oh, hi. whats up?? Allison – (11:16 pm) You texted me, Jesse. Jesse – (11:17 pm) no you did Allison – (11:21 pm) Are you drunk? Jesse – (11:22 […]
VFoC’s Official Drinking Game Rules
We at Van Full of Candy enjoy drinking. And no, we do not have a problem. That’s for amateurs. We are professional grade imbibers. But we generally save our heavy drinking for special occasions, namely, holidays which celebrate Saints. St. Valentine, St. Patrick, St. Nicholas, St. President’s Day, St. Wednesday. And while drinking until you involuntarily head […]
The 2011 Pre-St. Paddy’s Day Pub Crawl-Pub Crawl
Wednesday March 16th 10:30am – Apartment Hey, what’s up everyone, just wanted to get the live blog update started with the 2011 Pre St. Patty’s Day Pubcrawl here on campus where they get things started early. So early in fact, that I’m actually already a couple of hours behind everyone else since I woke up […]
Outrage Fatigue Fatigue.
Disclaimer: This is going to be a long, angry, fed up rant. If that’s your kind of thing, please feel free to enjoy. If this isn’t your idea of a fun internet time, have one of these: And we’ll see you tomorrow. For those sticking with us, let’s begin… Settle down. Right now. Cut it out […]
A Found Letter To Google From A Library Card
What TIME is it!? No, seriously, what time is it really?
This Sunday is our bi-annual celebration of humanity’s unquestioned mastery over time and space. Daylight Savings Time begins at 2am Sunday morning, so when you’re late for something important, know that it’s not my fault. But when you think about it, the fact that you make it anywhere on “time” is really an every day modern fucking […]
Does This Smell Rancid To You?
The other day as I was driving the van around town, I happened upon a dog park; a place where lonely pet owners can congregate and let their dogs frolic around with other K-9’s. A place where they can stand at least twenty feet from each other engaging in the game of “please don’t make […]
California Budget Deficit: Solved
We live in a society that refuses to take responsibility for its ridiculous, nonsensical actions and is unwilling to sacrifice anything in order to simply live within’ its means. We’re like a country of coked up toddlers, too busy snapping all of our toys in half and screaming at the top of our lungs to understand why all […]
Oooh, Oooh, Pick Me Teacher, Pick Me!
It seems that every few months or so another headline pops up about some “inappropriate” female teacher getting it on with their prepubescent male students. What the hell is going on these days? Is there some sort of weird ‘hot for student’ bug going around? AND WHERE IN THE HELL WERE THESE TEACHERS WHEN I […]